You don’t want to get on the wrong side of parenting TikTok. Just ask influencers Matt and Abby Howard.
Controversy erupted after Abby in a since-expired Instagram Story said that she and her husband were leaving their children—Griffin, two, and August, one—in their room during a cruise to go to dinner elsewhere on the ship.
“We ended up taking them for five nights, and it became apparent that they weren’t enjoying it and therefore we weren’t either,” the Instagram Story read. “So THEN we switched our dinner time to AFTER their bedtime and FaceTimed the monitors while we ate.”
In another Instagram Story, Abby explained that regular baby monitors don’t work on the cruise ship “unless you’re only like 10 feet away,” hence the decision to FaceTime them instead. “And that worked out muchhhh better for everyone,” she added.
The video quickly did the rounds online and, of course, people had opinions. “The most shocking thing about the Matt and Abby cruise situation is that they posted in REAL TIME that their kids were alone,” one person wrote in a video posted to TikTok. “What if a follower was on that ship? A stalker? Literally anyone?? They are so lucky that nothing horrible happened.”
“FaceTime is not a safe or appropriate substitute for proper, in-person supervision of very young children, particularly in a potentially hazardous environment like a cruise ship,” parenting expert Chioma Fanawopo tells Fast Company. “Children this young require hands-on care, not only to meet their physical needs but also for emotional security. A screen cannot provide the comfort, attention, or quick response necessary if an emergency arises.”
The couple responded to the backlash a couple days later by clarifying that they were on the cruise with their extended family, saying: “People started to speculate, and believe, that we had left our children alone in their staterooms. And that is just completely untrue. We had someone with our children at all times on this boat. Period.”
Parenting is challenging enough on its own, but putting it on display for the internet to scrutinize takes a thick skin. TikTok’s backlash culture takes no prisoners, and parents are no exception. While criticism can stem from genuine concern, it often morphs into a free-for-all to tear others down, particularly by those with strong opinions they like to voice.
No one’s suggesting leaving kids unattended with just a baby monitor will win you parent of the year. But if you do, you should know better by now than to broadcast it on TikTok.