ヽ༼ ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༼◕_◕༽◉_◔ ༽ﾉ — We have a question. What's a donger?
c༼ "͡° ▃ °͡ "༽ᕤ — I LOVE MY DONGER!
ლ(▀̿̿Ĺ̯̿̿▀̿ლ) — Whoa whoa WHOA. Hold on there, potty mouth. This is a family publication.
༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ — It's cool. Donger just sounds like a euphemism for a big rubbery one.
c༼ "͡° ▃ °͡ "༽ᕤ — DONGER! DONGER! DONGER!
༼ ಠ ▃ ಠೃ ༽ — I will slap you with my donger if you don't cut it out!
༼;´༎ຶ ༎ຶ༽ — *runs away sobbing, donger trailing behind him*
┌∩┐(ಠ_ಠ)┌∩┐ — Yeah, that's right! Take your donger and go crying home to mama!
ヽ༼ ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༼◕_◕༽◉_◔ ༽ﾉ — Uhhhhh...
༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ — Right, sorry. A donger is a set of unicode characters that when assembled together form a text emoticon.
༼୨༼ ºل͟º ༽୧༽ — So, what? It's like an emoji?
༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ — Pfft. Emojis! Dongers are way cooler than emojis. Professor?
┬───┬ ノ༼ຈل͜ຈノ༽ — Ah, yes. Allow me to mansplain. Emojis are a small library of graphic emoticons that are rarely added to, and are controlled by a non-profit consortium. A donger, though, is just a line of ASCII characters that looks like something else, which you can modify however you want. Watch, for example, as I transform this table into...
*ALAKAZAM*
/╲/\╭༼ ººل͟ºº ༽╮/\╱\ ノ༼ຈل͜ຈノ༽ ANT MUTA A GIANT MUTANT SPIDER!
༼ ⨀ ̿Ĺ̯̿̿⨀ ̿༽ง - AHHHHHH!
/╲/\╭༼ ººل͟ºº ༽╮/\╱\ ╾━╤デ╦︻༼ຈل͜ຈノ༽ — Ha ha! Don't worry about a thing. I'll just take care of this spider with my AK-47. Hold still . . .
*RAPID MACHINE GUN FIRE, ARACHNID SHRIEKING AND SQUELCHING NOISES*
┬───┬ ノ༼ຈل͜ຈノ༽ — And now this mutilated spider corpse is back to being just a table again. With dongers, you're only limited by the power of your imagination.
༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ — Thank you for that excellent mansplanation, Professor. Any other questions?
ヽ༼ ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༼◕_◕༽◉_◔ ༽ﾉ — Dongers seem pretty cool. How do we make them for ourselves?
༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ — Good question! In the past, you needed to do a lot of experimentation with Unicode characters to craft a good donger, but these days, you can just go to the Donger List database and copy-and-paste from there.
༼∩✿ل͜✿༽⊃━☆ﾟ. * ･ ｡ﾟ— It's by far the best-designed repository of dongers I've ever seen!
༼୨༼ ºل͟º ༽୧༽ — Uh, who is that?
༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ - Oh, don't mind him, that's just Adrian, Co.Design's chief donger expert.
༼∩✿ل͜✿༽⊃━☆ﾟ. * ･ ｡ﾟ— And trust me, I've copied-and-pasted many a donger in my time! Wooo!
༼ つ ▀̿_▀̿ ༽つ — Uh, yes. The point is that, like Adrian, with the help of Dongerlist, you'll never find yourself at a loss for the perfect donger to whip out in any social equation.
ヽ༼ ் ▽ ் ༽╯— YAY!
c༼ "͡° ▃ °͡ "༽ᕤ — MY BOLOGNA HAS A FIRST NAME!
༼ ಠ ▃ ಠೃ ༽ — What? You again?
c༼ "͡° ▃ °͡ "༽ᕤ — IT'S D-O-N-G-R!
୧༼ಠ益ರೃ༽୨ — ...
c༼ "͡° ▃ °͡ "༽ᕤ — MY BOLOGNA HAS A SECOND NAME!
ᕕ╏ ͜ಠ ‸ ͜ಠ ╏ᓄ - —] ︻╦╤─
(⌐■_■)–︻╦╤─ c༼ "͡° ▃ °͡ "༽ᕤ — IT'S D-O- *BLAM!*
(Exeunt)
[h/t Sidebar]
(Ed. Note:༼∩✿ل͜✿༽⊃━☆ﾟ. * ･ ｡ﾟ)