Surely any teacher who has ever known the indignity of a vulcanized projectile thwacking into his or her posterior while drawing on the blackboard has fantasized about whipping right around and unloading a fusillade of rubber bands at the smirking punks who make up their state-appointed charges.
Straight from the Ukraine, then, I give that teacher the weapon that will transform him into a Rubber Band Rambo: a wooden Gatling gun that can fire 672 rubber bands in just 48 seconds.
Now on Kickstarter, the Rubber Band Machine Gun quickly blew through its modest $5,000 goal, and with about a week to go, it's close to raising almost $100,000. It's easy to see why. Created by Alexander Shpetniy, a design student at the National University of Lugansky, this machine gun would be the ultimate decider in any rubber band fight.
Featuring 16 separate barrels, the Rubber Band Machine Gun uses the same principles as a Gatling gun to rapidly spin between chambers, firing rubber bands at a rate of 14 shots per second at a range of over 26 feet. You'd think that loading this number of rubber bands would be time-consuming, but it actually looks mercifully easy: reloading the machine gun is as easy as stretching multiple rubber bands at once around each individual barrel.
The Rubber Band Machine Gun spins through its barrels using five AA batteries, which is slightly disappointing: I feel like this weapon would be even cooler if it were purely analog, fired rubber bands using a hand cranking machine gun, like this vintage 1919 30 caliber semi-automatic used in World War I. It's a small complaint to make, though, given that short of bringing a rubber band bazooka or rubber band nuke, once this bad boy comes out, there's simply no way to further escalate an office supply war.
When it begins shipping, the Rubber Band Machine Gun will come in standard, black, burnt wood, and camouflage-colored variations for backers who pay $95 or more. Unload a full clip from this mutha in a rubber band war, and honestly, the person you hit with it might just wish you'd shot them with a real gun instead.
You can support the Rubber Band Machine Gun on Kickstarter here.